Green Eggs and Alcohol
I do not like green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, as drunk as I am.
I do not like the person I've become.
Being this wasted is no longer fun.
Would you like to be happy,
joyous, and free?
I can not be happy,
and joyous, you see?
I said I'm a drunk,
Didn't you hear me?
Would you like to embrace your past,
never wishing to shut its door?
I hate my pathetic past,
that's for damn sure.
Whats with all the questions?
You're quickly becoming a bore!
I'm a hopeless drunk,
that's all I'll ever be.
I'm nothing like you,
and I never will be.
I can help you find some peace, find serenity!
Theirs no such thing as serenity,
and now that you've ruined my peace,
Just shut up and leave me alone
or buy me a drink, at least.
I am an alcoholic,
Drinking is what I do.
I don't expect you to understand
because I am nothing like you.
You're much more than that
but right now you can't see.
You've hit the bottom of the scale
And that's your tool to be free.
Are you calling me a scumbag?
Do you think I'm lower than a flea?
Well, I cant really argue,
It definitely sucks to be me.
Look, dude, back off,
I know what you're trying to do.
I appreciate the offer,
But I'm nothing like you.
You're way too straight laced
And I'm just worthless...
and pretty shit faced.
I can help you be useful
and make that pity disappear.
Quit being so selfish,
and face your inner fear!
Look bro, that's enough.
You're after something, and that's clear.
I ain't gonna give you any money,
and I wish that you weren't here.
The pains Ive felt are special
I don't expect you to understand.
Ive suffered more than anyone,
I'm a terminally unique kind of man.
So, shut up with your promises
and quickly walk away
before I knock you out
or break down.....and beg you to stay.
I see you're gaining interest
Its starting to make sense,
But until you hear my drunken story
You will not be fully convinced.
So lets hear your little story
It cant be as bad as mine.
I guess I have a few minutes
I'll give you a little time.
Whats with all of these promises?
Why would you want to get me sober?
Whats in it for you?
What do you care if my life is over?
Are you one of those 12 steppers from the cult of AA?
Oh, Lord help me...oh wait...shit, did I really just pray?
Indeed you did, a step on the right course
You've said you're alcoholic with tons of remorse,
That makes 2 steps, and you took them unforced!
I was you, a short time ago, but I'm different now, I must say.
10 more steps is all there is, are you willing to try another way?
Take some suggestions, read a few pages,
Follow a simple program that's been successful for ages?
I don't know man
It all sounds pretty good.
But I'm a drunk and I'm broken
and not thinking like I should.
I am at the bottom,
I really have nothing to lose
Maybe things could be better
If I walked 12 steps in your shoes.
I am an alcoholic
I can not deny
So, if there is no other way
Id really rather not die.
Lets take a walk and get some air.
Theres a meeting around the corner
And you're right, whats to lose?
Except for that call to the Coroner!
You're not so different, you'll be amazed
before you are half way through...
There are millions of us helping each other,
Its just what we have to do.
What if I don't like it, what if it doesn't work for me.
I really AM very different, when you hear my story, you'll see.
So, is this the place, is this where y'all meet?
Do I just walk on in? Do I just grab any seat?
I thought everyone here would be much shorter!
Hey, I know that guy over there. I used to drink with him in the Quarter.
And HER? I know her too, she used to take my drink order.
And damn, is that Joe? HE'S in AA? We used to smuggle dope across the border!
Look at their faces...look at their smiles...there is something....so very different....about all of them, now.
If this worked for them.....if they made it through...
Then maybe, just maybe, I can make it through too.
OK, you sober bastard, yeah, Im talkin to you.......
Im listening... I'm in.....just tell me what to do.
~Roger R. (sober since 12/18/11)~
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